Stretch

Confession: I've always thought stretching was a waste of time.
I would stretch a little before the class started, then do the "cool down" stretches at the end of whatever class I was taking, but never really felt any difference. I was still so incredibly sore I couldn't take the stairs and had a hard time sitting down. I still couldn't lift my arms over my head without some bizarre "uhhhhhhhhggg" slipping out of my mouth. Once, I was SO sore I couldn't lift my left hand above my belly button!
In my attempts to skinny-down in the past I've worked way too hard too fast. I became so sore I couldn't move, preventing myself from continuing working out.
This time, along with not pushing myself beyond what I can handle (slow and steady lets you sit down on the toilet without crying), I've also started stretching before and after my workouts at home. This loosens me up prior to working out, allowing me to push harder and see progress quicker. Stretching after helps me be able to move the next day. :)
I've found the stretches at the gym are OK, but they just aren't enough for me.
At home, I now use a foam roller (more to come with my new focus foam roller love affair) on my body, and a tennis ball on my feet. This has been AWESOME and has really helped my soreness.
So- if you're workin out, stretch it out. You'll thank me later. ;)

I don't wanna

Last week, I REALLY didn't want to go to the gym.
I had a long week of a lot of work and not much sleep. I was frustrated and tired, and a little cranky too. (I know! Me? Cranky?! Ha ha ha)
I went to bed at 0800 (I worked the night before) swearing I was just going to sleep until I woke up naturally, and wasn't going to worry about the gym. I made excuse after excuse as to why there wouldn't any benefit to going to the gym when I work out.
"It would just make me more tired if I haven't rested enough."
"I couldn't give 100% if I'm already tired going into the workout."
"I won't be able to catch up on sleep if I wake up to go to the gym."
Blah blah blah....
Now, I do now there are times to listen to your body and rest. Now wasn't one of those times.
I didn't set an alarm, yet conveniently woke up early enough to go. Despite some hard core procrastinating, I still had time to eat a good breakfast, get ready, and get to the gym early enough to go on the treadmill to warm up before bodypump. Clearly, no matter what I did to avoid it, I was supposed to work out that day.
After warming up, I went into the class to set up, only to see that the instructor I don't exactly care for was teaching the class. :/ Seeing how I didn't want to work out in the first place, I was seriously tempted to pretend I forgot something and walk right back out.
I decided to suck it up and just do it. I'm SO glad I did. It was one of the best workouts I have had so far. I felt stronger and had more endurance than I had before. I was able to last a lot longer before taking a break than I had ever before in bodypump! It was pretty fantastic.
I honestly believe it was a little gift from God for sucking it up and dragging my tail in there despite desperately trying to avoid it. :) I love when He does that.
It's also been a little reminder to me on days since that I haven't felt like going. I am able to remember that time where I was really glad I went after REALLY not wanting to work out.
In the past, if I've even given myself the possibility of not going to the gym, it's over. I will not be going that day. It's cool to see a little progress regarding my mental strength too! :)

Say WHAAAAAAA?!!!

This is the lowest weight I have been in YEARS! So exciting!!

Woop woop!

Who has two thumbs and actually LOST WEIGHT during a holiday?!!

Myfitnesspal

Myfitnesspal calories for the week. Can you tell which day I ate the cheesesteak? ;)

Thanksgiving

I didn't feel right about talking about how I kicked buns at eating right on Thanksgiving until I confessed about my post-Thanksgiving cheesesteak. ;)
Thanksgiving was awesome! I prepared, brought food I could eat, and loaded my plate up with carrots, asparagus, broccoli, green beans, snap peas, and a little turkey. It was SO GOOD! I brought my Mrs. Dash with me, (I put that stuff on EVERYTHING!) so the food had plenty of flavor, and I didn't feel like I missed out one bit!
Even better- I didn't feel like crap after eating. While everyone was drooping from triptophan and over-eating comas, I had energy and felt satisfied, but not sick. :)
It was an awesome feeling.
I am so very thankful. For so many things. :)

I cheated.

There. I said it. :)
Made it through Thanksgiving dinner, dessert, and eating out twice while Black Friday shopping like a boss! (Post to come on that.) I was beyond excited/happy/proud at how well I ate and the great choices I made.
And then there was Julio's. :/ lol For the three peeps who actually might read this, my family goes to Pennsylvania for most holidays. While there, it is a necessity to stop by Julio's (a cheesesteak place near my grandparents house) for a "steak-in-a-pouch."
Steak-in-a-pouch: a little piece of heaven consisting of REAL steak (steak-ems has NOTHING on this bad boy) lots of cheesy goodness, green peppers, and onions, wrapped in REAL Philly bread.
It is GIGANTIC. Couple that with a side of cheese fries with that bright orange cheese sauce that probably doesn't even HAVE real cheese in it... holy cow it's just fatty heaven.
Sorry...got side tracked for a minute. :)
So anywho, I was totally kickin holiday dieting's buns when it happened- my dad suggested Julio's for dinner. As soon as he mentioned it, I knew I was a goner. This was going to happen.
I honestly fought myself internally for a good 45 minutes over it.
"I've been doing SO GOOD!! I can't ruin it now!"
"There is no way I can watch everyone eat Julio's and not have some."
"You've stuck to every 'rule' of this diet to the T for five weeks. This is the longest you have ever stuck to a diet. One slip, and all of this could be over. Do you REALLY want to risk all that hard work?!"
"I'll just work out harder and go right back to the diet after this. This one cheat does not define me. It does not mean I've failed. I will regret not getting it and feel deprived, resenting the diet. I don't want that to happen. I'll have a steak-in-a-pouch with green peppers and onions and cheese fries, please. :D"
And you know what? I don't regret a thing. :) When I woke up this morning, I jumped right back into my usual healthy eating, I'm planning on going to the gym and running a bit when I get home, and I won't let this make me feel guilty or like I've failed. :) And that, my friends, is growth.
I didn't use this as an excuse to blow all of the hard work I've done out of the water. I didn't wallow in my "failure"- or even consider it a failure. No guilt or shame. I made a choice, I enjoyed it (I'm not even gonna lie- it was everything I had hoped for. lol) and I'm gonna keep it moving.
I have a goal. And I will reach it. :)
Baby steps. ;)

Problemos

Too true. :) They have a mind of their own!
PS-I swear I WILL start posting real posts SOON! Took a lil' Thanksgiving break. :)

Word.

I've been SO guilty of this in the past. Not gonna fall for this lie ANYMORE!

Power in numbers

I always hear that working out with friends has a higher success rate than working out alone. That meeting someone at the gym makes you feel obligated, and more likely to push yourself to go on days you don't feel like it.
Turns out- "they" (whoever "they" are) are right!! Not only do I feel more drive to go, I also am more excited to workout, and have more fun when I go!
When you make the gym a social occasion as opposed to an obligation, it really makes a big difference on your view of the gym!
I now have some girlies that meet up with me once a week for Zumba, as well as a friend who often goes with me Saturday mornings to bodypump. (I REALLY need a friend for that class- it is at EIGHT FIFTEEN in the morning on a SATURDAY!!! lol)
I'm still looking for some more gym buddies! I was hesitant at first, because I'm vain and self-conscious and don't want friends to see me practically dying while working out. Turns out- it's not that big of a deal. :)
Anyone wanting to join me at the gym? ;)

Success!

Suck it in!

I had some great advice given to me during a bodypump class a long time ago. She mentioned how important it is (if you want a flat stomach) to keep your ab muscles tight all the time, not just when you're doing an an routine. It doesn't matter what workout you're doing, if your abs are pulled in tight you will strengthen them as well!
I was skeptical at first, but I have to admit it's working! I even have the start of abs!!! They're flabby abs so far, but I'm seein definition already!
In have a really hard time doing crunches right now. My core is really weak and my back is on fire even after roughly 5 sit-ups/crunches. In order to make my core and back strong enough to handle crunches, I've started "pulling my belly button towards my spine" (that's how one of the bodypump teachers puts it) all the time. :)
Now, whenever I'm walking around at work, taking the stairs, or working out at the gym, I tighten up those core muscles!
It's one more little thing that, done over time, has actually made a difference! :)

Don't quit!!

Give it a try :)

Beginning

Allowing myself to be a beginner. To be the biggest girl in the gym class. To be the only one unable to finish the reps.
Allowing myself to be ok with not being the best. Because one day...I will be. :)

Zumba

I have wanted to give Zumba a try for a long time. The problem? I can't dance.
I wanted to maybe get one of the videos or something and give it a shot. That way I didn't have to embarrass myself in front of a bunch of people. I could just do it at home. However, knowing how I am and how I just can't bring myself to workout at home when my couch is calling my name, I knew it would be a waste of money.
I had heard from friends what a great workout it was, and that it was a really fun way to exercise, so I woman-ed up. (The chica version of manning up.) I walked in that class of skinny mamas to shake a chunky tail feather.
At the beginning of every class at the gym I go to, they always ask if there's anyone new. I contemplated not raising my hand. But, I've learned when you admit you're new, everyone is very supportive and encouraging, giving you tips and all. Plus- let's face it, they don't expect as much from you, which is nice. ;)
The instructor was awesome! She was so FUN!! (Sister could really shake it too!!) She said the rules were:
1. There are no mistakes.
2. If you get lost, just shake your booty till you figure it out. :)
My friends were definitely right! I had SO much fun! I had to make it a point to not look at myself in the giant wall mirrors or I'd get all self conscious and weird. As long as I didn't look, and didn't compare myself to the other booty shakers, I had a GREAT time!
It's really done more for me than just exercise. (Don't get me wrong- I come outta that class sweating like a big dog. It's one of the hardest workouts I've done!!) It helps me let loose and relax. It reminds me not to take myself so seriously. Helps me not compare myself to others.
I love it! It's so much fun, such a good work out, and I actually look forward to it each week! :)
If you ever get the opportunity, I'd definitely give it a shot! :)

Goals

This is the dress I have to wear June 1st, 2013. It's gorgeous and I love it, but Im freaking out at the straplessness and the shortness. If all goes as planned *fingers crossed* I will have reached my first goal weight by this date. :) Here's to getting a rockin body to look fabulous in this awesome dress!

Thinspiration

I started a new class at the gym today!
I started the day with a pylometrics/ cardio class, then took Zumba! (More to come on Zumba!)
One woman from the first class stayed to do Zumba too. There was a little time between classes, so we got to talking.
I complimented her on how hard she worked out. This lady was a champion. Everything she did she did 150%, pushing herself harder each round. She started to explain a little of her story.
"I used to be 210 pounds," she explained.
It blew my mind!!! This woman looks like one of those ladies who have just been blessed with good genes. In my mind, she had been skinny all her life, and working out came easier to her than it ever would for me. Flat stomach, strong and toned- surely she wouldn't understand what it was like for me. Oh, how I misjudged her!!
"I started out just doing jazzercise, then slowly pushed myself harder. I hate fad diets. You lose the weight quickly, then as soon as you stop you gain all the weight back! I've learned that the slower it comes off, the longer it will stay off."
I truly believe God put us in the class together to help me hear what He's been trying to tell me. "Slow and steady wins the race. Don't be discouraged- if you push through the plateaus and the pounds put back on, if you keep trying and taking it day by day, you WILL see results!" Thanks God, you're pretty fantastical. ;)
She said it took her a little over a year. I know she has absolutely no idea how much just our one little chat has inspired and encouraged me.
I just love little gifts like that.

I don't want to be skinny

I was walking on the treadmill yesterday, admiring the eye candy lifting weights. ;) Then I noticed this girl walk up to the weights.
She was clearly fit, but as soon as she started lifting you could see- girlie was RIPPED.
You could see every muscle in her shoulders/back. She looked strong, but not bulky or manly.
It reminded me- I don't want to be skinny. Yes, I'd like to weigh less. Sure, I'd like to be a little smaller. But I want to be strong. I don't want to be thin and frail- I want to be muscular and tone.
I want to be able to lift heavy stuff! :) I want to feel independent, not needing someone to lift or carry heavy things for me. :) I want to be able to hold my own with the boys, and yet still feminine enough to wear a dress without lookin like a cross dresser.
So no, I don't want to be skinny- I want to be STRONG!

WOOOOOOO!!!!

This just happened. :D

Yoga

I had my first experience with yoga yesterday. I worked Sunday night (until 8am Monday morning) so I was a little sleepy going in. (NOT a good choice.)
I ran a little before going in. (Also, not a good choice.) It's a little hard to get all peaceful and tranquil when you smell like a wet dog. I think today I will do yoga first, workout second. :)
I walked in late. :/ All of the lights were off, so I thought the class hadn't started yet. I went up front to ask the girl if they were still having the class, and she explained that the entire class is in the dark. No lights. After being awake for over 24 hrs. Being told to relax...it's really quite amazing I didn't just take a nap. :)
I quietly grabbed a yoga mat and jumped in.
Despite being a relaxing class focused on strength and stretching, the instructors voice was harsh and she yelled as if there were loud music playing or a large number of people in the room. (There were four of us.)
It was harder than I expected. Despite being a big girl, I'm pretty flexible. So I thought I'd be fine. Then, the woman asked us to lay down, bend our knees and put our heels to our butts, GRAB THEM, and stretch. I did it, but I imagine the look on my face was HILARIOUS! Some things she asked us to do just wasn't gonna happen. I actually got a look from the instructor when, after she explained a particularly ridiculous move, I went, "PFFFT!" Like, YEAH RIGHT!
The class ends by laying however you feel comfortable, and relaxing in complete silence. It took everything in me to not fall asleep, fearing I'd start snoring like a chainsaw.
It wasn't a horrible experience... She said a bunch of words I didn't understand regarding the different positions, and the talk of self-healing and chakras freaked me out a little... But it wasn't bad enough to not try again. I felt pretty awesome after. My skin everywhere felt tingly- like it had woken up. That was neat.
So, here's to trying new things!

I am GREAT at dieting!

I can not count the number of diets i have been through in my 27 years. The earliest diet I an remember was around 15 years old.
I'm really pretty great at diets! Well, what I really mean is I am great at STARTING diets. I get motivated, even a little excited to start a new one! I'm hopeful, eager to drop pounds and become healthier.
The first week or so into a diet I usually drop weight very rapidly. I realize most of this weight is water weight I've retained, but it's still thrilling to see the numbers on the scale decline so quickly!
Then, every time, usually around about 185-186 pounds it happens. I plateau. Big time. A week, even two may go by without even one pound lost! I even may start gaining a pound or two back, despite still strictly sticking to the diet.
It is BEYOND FRUSTRATING!! I feel hopeless, like no matter how hard I try I will never be thin.
This is where I usually give up. I get angry at my body and punish it with pizza, soda, and more cookies than you could shake a stick at.
There was one diet I actually got through the initial plateau. The Herbalife shake diet got me to about 180, but I got so sick of the shakes I would literally start gagging even if I THOUGHT about making a shake. Turns out I was allergic to them. :/
So this is the scary part for me. I have pushed through the first plateau (I know there will be more to come) and I'm slowly but surely continuing to lose weight. I don't want to give up, get bored, or get frustrated and quit. I've worked too hard and for too long (50 days!) to give up now.
What's good (and unusual) is that I don't want to. I'm not bored with the food, it's not making me feel sick or deprived, and I actually feel great!
So, I'm hoping to one day be able to say (instead of dieting) I am GREAT at eating healthy!! ;)

Little Victories

This weekend was great! I got to celebrate my dad's birthday with him, join some awesome ladies at church to hang out, hear a beautiful woman talk about Jesus and how awesome He is, and just relax!

Two big this happened this week:
1. I went out to a restaurant for the first time since starting this diet. Honestly, I was really nervous! We went to Texas Roadhouse. Here's what I usually get:
-appetizer of some fried awesomeness. (Usually pickles or an onion blossom)
-dinner is a steak, a fully loaded sweet potato packed with caramel sauce and marshmallows!!! And apple sauce.
-If I can still breathe/move, I will split some dessert with whoever I'm eating with.
Then I'd roll myself out of the booth, go into a food coma and go to bed.
YIKES! I'd hate to even know what that meal did to my body.
This time, I had:
-No appetizer.
-Steak, with a side of mixed veggies and a side of green beans.
It was delicious, and I didn't feel sick OR guilty when I left! Huge win.

THEN- Sunday we had a "ladies tea" at church. Some amazing tastefully simple ladies I know made a HUGE assortment of all things TS. (seriously- this stuff is fool proof to make, AND tastes UH. MAZING.) Luckily, for once in my life I thought ahead. Knowing I would have some serious temptations sitting right in front of me, I ate a lil' somethin before I left so I wouldn't be starving, and I packed my breakfast in a lunchbox so I had things on hand I could eat.
All in all, I feel pretty darn fantastic about the choices I made, and it feels good to get a win in every now and then.
I still gained two pounds (AGAIN) which only further proves my theory that I can gain weight by LOOKING at unhealthy food, but I made the right choices. And I know if I continue to do so, the weight will come off.

GRRRRRRR!!!

I gained the two pounds back. Again. Dropped the f-bomb like the classy, God-fearing woman that I am. :/ BLAH.
I can't seem to get past 186. I need to get my tail in the gym.
There. I posted. That's all for today.

Cranky Pants

I just wanted to take a few minutes and apologize to my family, friends, coworkers, and random strangers- all of whom I've lashed out at these past few weeks.
I have been a total crabby pattie. HUGE mood swings, bouts of anger for no apparent reason, coming extremely close to bursting into tears at random times throughout my day. Sorry bout all that. ;)
It could be 1,000 things. Weather change always screws with me, hormones, job bein silly, not movin to Mexico, singleness gettin to me- could be all of it combined for all I know.
I was trying to figure out how to bust out of this funk, when it hit me-with this diet I can no longer find comfort in food anymore. I can't eat my feelings away. I can't hide behind mountains of food to make me happy now.
So yes- a lot of craziness can be goin on. But before trying to eat healthy, I could always find solace in comfort food. Plans don't work out? An entire box of Mac-n-Cheese, please! (And it better be Kraft, or things WILL get ugly!) Bad day at work? I'll take 2 servings of dinner, cookies, cake, chips, and 3 sodas, thank you. (Not kidding-this happened more than I would like to admit.) Interested in a guy who just isn't diggin me? Don't worry- I'll just call up my old friend Chipotle and eat until I explode. (BTW- if chipotle served dessert you would literally have to roll me out of that joint.)
It sounds silly, and quite sad really, but I feel almost as if I've been through a break-up. What I found comfort, joy, calm, and happiness from is no longer there. Learning how to eat-to-live when I've spent my life living-to-eat is much more of an emotional roller coaster than I expected.

It's the little things...

So after already shedding a few pounds and having some small victories, I wanted to make a YAY! list, and a YAY-for-things-to-come! list. :)
Here's the things I've already noticed:
(WARNING! Some [probably all] of these may be a TMI)
-my doo-blay (as I so lovingly call my double chin) is getting smaller!
-My pants are actually starting to sit on my waist, instead of hiking them up under my boobs so I don't have belly overhang. (I warned you.)
-my underpants don't roll down under my gut if I take the stairs!
-I went down a notch on my watch! (Next stop-belt notch!)
-My thighs aren't trying to bust out of my pants!

As to what I'm looking forward to:
-Having jeans/scrub pants without holes in the thighs from where my chunky legs have rubbed holes through them. (Yep.)
-Not jutting out my head like a crane to prevent eight chins from magically appearing every time my picture is taken.
-Being able to shop in an age appropriate underwear store. Granny panties just aren't cute, friends. ;)
-Being able to go up two flights of stairs without feeling like I'm gonna stroke out.
-Not running every time a camera appears.
-Not knocking things over because "I can fit through there" turns into "I can fit through there- if my wide tail knocks everything off this table."
-Workin' out without screaming obscenities in my head. (Sorry Jesus- it's the truth.)

And long term goals:
-Wearing a baiting suit without feeling like a beached whale.
-No longer shopping in the "plus sized" section (Bee Tee Dub- can we please call it something else?! "Plus sized" sounds like a regular person PLUS another one could fit in my jeans.)
-Not fearing activities with friends that require physical exertion, a weight limit, or small areas.

So there are a few of my goals. I'm sure the list will grow as some get checked off the list, and I begin to find out what my body can actually do. :)

Stupid scale.

I gained two pounds. :P
I was at a child's birthday party, full of ice cream cake (my ULTIMATE favorite) , pizza, and all the things that are HUGE temptations for me. I did not have a single bite. I packed my lunch. I made good choices. I still gained two pounds. This, in my mind, only reiterates my thought that I can literally LOOK at unhealthy food and gain weight. :)
This weight gain got to me. Yes, it's only two pounds. No, it shouldn't have gotten to me. Yesterday, I felt thinner, excited, and hopeful. Those two pounds sent me into this silly hopeless spiral. The usual self-deprecating thoughts began. "I will always be overweight." "I can't do this." "I will always be a 'big girl.'" It. Is. Silly. I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do- I let the scale determine my worth.
Those two pounds could have been anything. I weighed myself at a different time of day than I usually do. I retained water yesterday (not sure why). It could be 1,000 different things that don't matter. Instead of celebrating making it through a tempting situation without wavering, I beat myself up because of the numbers on that stinkin' scale.
I refuse to give up this time. I refuse to let those numbers determine how I feel that day. I am working hard, and WILL see results.
It's amazing to me how I have to outwardly fight the natural thoughts in my head. But I'll get there. :)

Meal Planning

I am still in the process of trying to figure out what works for me as far as meal planning goes. (Any tips/tricks/hints would be GLADLY welcomed!!)
I started to make a very general meal plan to determine how much food I needed to buy. The first time I did a two week plan, but I think it was too overwhelming and will probably switch to a one-week plan.
This past week I didn't plan my meals and I'm regretting it now. I don't have enough of some things to get me through the week, and now have to lose sleep to go to the store. And I LOOOOOVE sleep. :)
I think meal plans are important, mainly so you can stay prepared. You can have food on hand to conquer cravings, and never have to "wing it" and end up making less than stellar choices because there was no option.
I'll be glad to figure out what works for me and get into a meal planning groove. This may also help me with budgeting for my food, which has been difficult with this diet- considering it requires a lot of meat.

Kombucha

A friend suggested to me a while ago that I should try kombucha. It's a tea that is fermented, full of probiotics and antioxidants. It's supposed to be great for gut health, gives you energy, and has a lot of great nutrients. 

I was hesitant to try it at first, but now I can't go without it!

It's pretty expensive (about $3.00/16 oz. bottle) to buy in the store, so I searched online to try to find a way to make it on my own! :)

To take a peek at the directions I followed, go to this site. 

Here's what you need:

-1 (16 oz.) bottle of raw, organic, unpasturized/unflavored kombucha (I found it at our "natural store" but I've also found it at Safeway a little cheaper)

-1 gallon glass jar

-1 gallon spring/distilled water

-6 to 8 green or black tea bags (I used green)

-1 cup granulated white sugar

-Steel stock pot

-Wooden spoon

-Coffee filter

-Rubber band

 Steps:

 1. Bring 1/2 gallon of the distilled water to a boil in a large, steel stock pot.

2. When it boils, turn off the heat and add the tea bags.

3. Cover the pot and let the tea steep for 15 minutes.

4. After 15 minutes, remove the tea bags.

5. Add the sugar and stir well with a wooden spoon until completely dissolved.

 6. Cover the pot and let it sit until room temperature.

7. Once at room temperature, poor the cooled tea into the glass jar. (Be sure the jar is VERY clean to prevent mold.)

8. Add the 16 oz. of kombucha.

9. Add the rest of the distilled water, being sure to leave at least 2 inches of space between the tea and the top of the jar to allow the SCOBY (Symbiotic Colony of Bacteria and Yeast- sounds gross, looks gross, but makes some good tea!)

 10. Place the coffee filter on top, and wrap with the rubber band. This insures that the tea is able to breathe/brew, without letting junk get into it.

11. Set the jar in a place that won't get disturbed, and doesn't get direct sunlight.

12. After 2-3 weeks, you should see a thin, translucent film covering the surface of the tea. (This picture was take after about a week and a half)

See the beginning of the SCOBY growing? :)  

 This is the bottom. It's hard to get a decent picture, but it's starting to grow!

As my kombucha is brewing, I have been buying the store bought kind. Since kombucha, once brewed, cannot touch metal (it does something to ruin all of the probiotics and such), I've been saving my glass bottles from the kombucha I've already bought. That way I don't have to go out and buy bottles, and will have enough to store some in the fridge! :)

I hope this helps! As the SCOBY grows, I'll be taking more pictures and filling you in on how it's going!