Self-image

I am learning (ever so slowly) the power of a positive self-image, and what kind of destruction a negative one can play in your life.
There will always be things I'd like to change. Even when I reach that final goal weight, I am sure there will be something that bugs me about my body. Some "flaw" or feature I can't stand that I will want to beat myself up for.
I am my hardest critic. In some ways, it is a good thing. It helps me push forward and drives me to become a little better everyday. But sometimes...most times... I can be so hard on myself that I'd rather just quit.
I am starting to reshape my mind, as well as my body this time. Cutting out negative self-talk, detrimental thoughts, and starting to rethink about the way I see myself.
I am often the girl who makes a joke about her weight, jumping in and making myself the punch line before someone else gets a chance to do it. I'd like to think I've got a good sense of humor, and I love to make people laugh, but it's about time I stop using my bad self image and weight as the butt of every joke.
I'm attempting to get rid of any negative-ness in my thoughts about myself. No more twisting a compliment I get into something less than flattering. (Ex. Random friend/coworker: "Kelli, I love that shirt!" Me: "Thanks! Big girls LOVE their sweaters!! Hides all the rolly-pollies!!"
No more "big girl" comments. No more beating myself up about my weight/size/abilities.
Instead, I'm switching it up! Focusing on what I like about myself instead of what I hate. Thinking about how far I have come instead of how much further I have to go. Being proud of my accomplishments (even little ones!) instead of constantly reliving failures. Finding things I love about myself (no matter how small) instead of constantly zeroing in on the things I hate. Motivating myself through positivity ("I can do this!" actually helps me when I work out to push just that little bit harder.) instead of being obsessed with negative thoughts.
It's amazing how, even if you feel silly or feel like you don't mean it at first, saying positive things to yourself really does start to begin to change how you feel!
I started out with the stranger test. If I wouldn't walk up to a stranger and say it, I need to stop saying it to myself! For example, never in a million years would I say, "You can't wear that shirt. It makes you look like you have eight chins." Or, "Look at all those rolls!! You opening up a bakery?!" But I say things like that all the time to myself. Now, when I catch myself doing that, I am starting to try to say something positive instead. Immediately finding something I like about myself and celebrating it.
Might sound cliche or cheesy, but it's working, so I'm keeping it. ;)